Nakama Is Not Just a Word
by funvince
Summary: Nico Robin had been running her entire life. She believed that she would always be alone. Then she became a Straw Hat and everything changed. A retelling of her journey from her point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**NAKAMA IS NOT JUST A WORD**

**Chapter 1**

Nico Robin didn't believe in nakama.

Intellectually, she knew that things like love, loyalty, and friendship existed in the world, but the only experience she had with such grand ideas were twenty years in the past.

She had run away from countless families. Not all of them had tried to turn her in for the bounty money. Many simply told her that they were sorry but they couldn't risk their lives and the lives of their families protecting someone like her. They had been willing to open up their homes until they realized the danger in doing so. Somehow, these were the betrayals that hurt the most. It was unbearable to know that the only reason keeping her from finding a home with such people was because of _who_ she was.

So she became a pirate. At least she knew where she stood with them. They distrusted and feared her and made no attempt to hide it. She relished this fear. It kept them from doing more than leering and swearing at her. Her Devil Fruit abilities made her useful, and her potential as an emergency coin purse was irresistible. Of course, being pirates they couldn't just expect to walk down to the local Marine base and leave with the reward, but just having that possibility in their grasp seemed to please them very much.

It was just as well that she was left alone. She had always learned more by simply observing. And what she observed was that while many of her captains espoused the virtues of being nakama they were also the first to abandon their subordinates and run away when real danger appeared. Was that what nakama meant? To be comrades-in-arms until it was too inconvenient to do so?

She could never bring herself to feel sorry when her 'crewmates' were inevitably taken down by the Marines and she had to escape. After all, she was doing exactly what they would have done to her if the situation had been reversed.

In the beginning of her endless journey across the sea, it was Saulo's words that gave her strength. But as the years went by, she found little reason to continue to laugh or to dream. She no longer believed that nakama existed. At least not for her.

_One day, nakama who will protect you will appear._

Yet the hope would never quite die.

But she had long resigned herself to the fact that she was a fool.

Revenge was now what she lived for. Finding the Rio Poneglyph and the True History was not so much her dream as her reason for not lying down to die. She would do anything to finish Ohara's research. She would die spitting in the World Government's face. That was how she ended up with the Shichibukai Crocodile and his mad plans. She would commit any crime and even destroy the world itself to avenge the deaths of her mother and her people. What was one more sin on an already blackened soul?

* * *

Robin didn't know why she saved him. She stared at the boy with the straw hat and the red shirt lying on the sand before her, weakly gasping his gratitude. She was a little astonished that he was still alive after being pierced with Crocodile's metal hook and thrown in a pit of quicksand. 

He wasn't the first person she had spared from death. She had deliberately not given fatal blows to Igaram and Pell. She had allowed Nefertari Vivi to learn Mister Zero's true identity and done nothing to stop it. There were many other times in her travels when she chose not to kill when she easily could have.

These were strange actions for an assassin to take. Especially for one who believed that she was rotten to the core. She was under no illusion that the people she allowed to live made up for those that she killed. She had killed many people in her life directly and indirectly all in the name of survival. Most of the pirate crews who had harbored her were probably dead now at the hands of Marine 'justice.'

By helping Crocodile she had probably contributed to the deaths of many. Even if she didn't intend for him to have the weapon he sought, that wouldn't bring back the dead. She could tell herself that they would have died anyway and that she would have been captured and executed without Crocodile's protection, but she didn't like to make excuses.

So why did she repeatedly let mercy stay her hand? The answer was simple. There was enough death in the world. There was no need for her to add more to it than necessary.

That may have been why she allowed Vivi to find out who Mister Zero was. If the princess and her band of misfits managed the unlikely event of stopping Crocodile then that was good. If they didn't then that was simply one more tragedy in an already tragic world.

That didn't explain why she saved Straw Hat Luffy however. Deciding not to kill someone was different from taking actions to save a life. Maybe it was because he reminded her of Saulo. It had been a long time since she had seen a person with such conviction. It was easy for men like Crocodile to be smug and confident when they had the upper hand. To fight in the face of overwhelming odds was another thing entirely.

She had met a few men of D and the one trait they all shared was the belief that nothing was impossible. Once they made up their mind to do something, there was no obstacle short of death itself that could overcome their will to succeed. The power of their belief was limitless, and when she was around them, she couldn't help but believe as well.

So she left the boy in the hands of the Peregrine Falcon Pell and hurried on to the capital. Someone like that didn't deserve to die. Robin was a student of history. She knew that she was looking on someone truly special, someone who would accomplish great things. How could she deny history this boy's story?

That was why even though she hoped that she would not see him again, she was not terribly surprised when the tenacious young pirate showed up at the palace with a barrel strapped to his back. Robin did feel a swell of frustration though. She was so close to her goals that she could almost see the Poneglyph, and she still couldn't understand what motivated this pirate. Why was he willing to fight so hard for someone who was once his enemy?

Yet despite the seriousness of the situation, she could not help but laugh at the sight of 'Mizu Luffy.' He was so delightfully absurd. He didn't even seem to realize the mortal danger he was in. She hadn't laughed like that in a very long time, and it was with a pang of regret that she had to remind herself to get back to business.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dying was such an odd experience.

The pain was the first thing she noticed, which was to be expected after being run through with a golden hook. Breathing was an agony into itself, and she could literally feel the life draining from her body as her blood flowed through her wound.

Robin had always had a slight curiosity about death. Who didn't? That was probably why she was fighting so hard against the sweet bliss of unconsciousness. She didn't want to miss a single detail of the last moments of her life.

She felt rather detached from the whole thing. Was that simply her brain trying to cope with the trauma of its impending non-existence or had she simply become so successful at suppressing her emotions that she could no longer feel them at all?

No, she could still feel. Mixed with the crushing weight of defeat and the fear that came from the most primitive parts of her psyche was the strong sense of _relief_. Soon, she wouldn't have to worry about vengeance, responsibility, or guilt. She would no longer be plagued with the ridiculous, stupid hope that her life would get better and that she would find people who would accept and even _love_ a monster like her.

It would be over soon.

Through the darkening haze, she could hear rocks hitting the ground and taste the dust and sand swirling through the air, and she felt a pang of regret that she was the reason that these ancient ruins were crumbling around her. Yet she couldn't help but smile a little. To die in such a place would be strangely appropriate for the last Oharan archaeologist.

She could also make out the sounds of battle cries and flesh hitting flesh. Her former employer and the Straw Hat pirate captain were apparently still fighting. It was quite a shame that she couldn't see what was going on. History was undoubtedly unfolding around her. She still wasn't quite convinced that the boy could win against this lapdog of the World Government, but she couldn't help but admire him for fighting anyway.

That was far more than she had ever done…

Then she heard the gravelly, smug voice that she loathed from the bottom of her soul. "Why are you fighting for someone else's desires?"

She wondered about as well. How shameful of that boy to shatter all her preconceived notions about pirates. She knew he wasn't fighting for money. She knew that he regarded his crew as his family. Her surveillance had revealed that much. But he had not known the princess for very long. She was not even a pirate! Didn't he realize that taking that girl's burdens onto his shoulders gained him nothing and would most likely cost him everything? She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she almost missed the answer to her question.

"I don't want her to die! She's my nakama!" Straw Hat screamed.

Tears sprang to her eyes. She chided herself. She couldn't even remember the last time since her childhood that she cried. Even moments before when she encountered the death of her dream, her eyes had remained dry. What was it about that boy that broke through her mask so easily?

But there was so much strength and emotion behind his words that she couldn't maintain her jaded demeanor. He genuinely believed in what he was saying. And she realized that she was making matters too complicated by trying to figure out Luffy's motivations. He didn't need a reason. The princess was his nakama and nothing more had to be said.

He was a fool. He was the same kind of fool as she, the kind she had never expected to meet another of in this world. The kind that believed in hopeless causes. He would fight just so his nakama could smile. He would fight because to lose was completely unacceptable. And in that moment, against all logic and common sense, she believed that he could win.

So that was why after she managed to force herself into a sitting position in time to watch Crocodile get pummeled into the stratosphere, she tossed the antidote for the Shichibukai's poison at the king. The boy was a hero and heroes deserved to be rewarded.

The king kept pestering her with questions, and she eventually tuned him out. He was a good man, and he would look after the rubber boy. She could finally let go. With a deep sigh, she slumped over.

Then she felt her body being lifted off the ground. Her eyes sprang open in shock. She looked wildly up at her unwanted savior. The boy gave her a disinterested look then he began heading toward the exit.

She tried to struggle, but it hurt too much to do so. She tried to protest, but she knew that it was pointless as soon as the words left her mouth.

The pirate glanced at her with an expression that seemed too mature for his youthful features and he asked, "Why the hell should I listen to you?"

The determination in those eyes silenced her voice. There wasn't anything she could do anyway. Even if she hadn't been on the verge of death, trying to stop him would be as productive as trying to swallow the ocean. So she resigned herself to not dying today.

Despite the anger and frustration she felt toward the Straw Hat pirate for forcing her to live, she didn't regret saving him. Even if he was rescuing her only because she'd given him the antidote, she couldn't completely dampen the elation she felt at someone giving a damn about her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Robin found herself in one of the king's medical wards when she woke up. Her wounds had been neatly bandaged and the blood washed off. The room was bustling with patients and medical staff, so nobody noticed when she found her clothes and snuck out. She had been walking for ten minutes when she realized that she had nowhere to go.

It was a sobering thought. She hadn't given much thought to what would happen after she discovered the Poneglyph. She would either be publishing the secret of the True History in every media outlet she could find, following the trail to the next Poneglyph, or she would be dead.

She had never imagined that she would end up with absolutely no clue of where to go next. Perhaps she should have. She had known for years that there were two types of Poneglyphs after all. One gave information about events or objects like Pluton and the other gave directions of how to find other Poneglyphs. And she ended up with the former. She really did have horrible luck.

She could continue to search for the Rio Poneglyph, but it could easily take her another twenty years to find another lead. Robin sank to her knees in the middle of the street, ignoring the bewildered glances of the people walking past her. Such behavior was extremely uncharacteristic of her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was just very tired, in body and spirit.

Robin briefly toyed with the thought of finishing what Crocodile started yet somehow, now that she wasn't actually in the middle of dying that option didn't seem as appealing. Perhaps she was simply a coward.

So she knelt there in the street, paralyzed with indecision. She didn't know what to do. She didn't even know what she wanted. All she did know was that she was tired of being alone.

In that moment, a face appeared in her mind's eye. It was a childish face with a grin much too wide for an ordinary face to bear but which seemed to fit on his perfectly. It was a face that held laughter and the wholly irrational belief that everything was going to be okay.

Robin found herself on her feet and staring across the desert in the direction of Nanohana. Ignoring the voice in her head telling her that she'd gone insane, she set off to leave the city and her old life.

Using the few contacts she had left who hadn't ran away or been captured by the Marines, she was able to quickly cross the vast desert and ended up at the Going Merry with only the clothes on her back. She was able to remedy the situation by tossing away her sand-clogged attire and rummaging through the closest of the only female pirate on the crew. The navigator probably wouldn't mind _too_ much.

There were some tense moments when she found Mister 2 clambering onto the ship, but after she ascertained that he meant no harm and made him promise to keep her presence onboard a secret, she settled herself down to wait.

When she wasn't browsing through the navigator's books or exploring the ship, she wondered what on earth had motivated her to stow away on the ship of her enemies. There was no guarantee that the pirates would be able to escape the Marine blockade. She was practically handing herself over to the World Government!

And even if the pirates did manage to escape, she would hardly be welcomed with open arms. She was reasonably certain that the captain wouldn't kill her after taking the trouble to save her life. She could be completely wrong and end up being thrown overboard upon discovery, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She just couldn't take the thought of running any longer. Whatever happened would happen and there was nothing she could do but accept what came.

Robin was in the middle of a bath when she felt the ship set sail and the sound of cannon fire vibrating through the deck. She calmly dried herself off and got dressed, but when she reached to grasp the doorknob, she suddenly found herself filled with anxiety.

She wasn't worried about how the crew would react to her any longer, but about how she would react to them. Maybe they weren't the type of people she thought they were. What did she really know about them? Altruistic pirates were still pirates after all.

Robin told herself she was being silly. This was only going to be a temporary hideout, so it probably didn't really matter if she disliked her crewmates. It wouldn't be the first time. But it would be a shame if she went through all this trouble only to be disappointed in the end.

Well, that wouldn't be the first time either.

She then heard the sound of crying.

"WE MISS HER!"

There was a growl of irritation that could only have come from the swordsman. "Are you still crying over Vivi? If you wanted her to come so badly, we could have taken her by force!"

"You Neanderthal!" Ah, that was the boy who called himself Mister Prince.

"Despicable!" The navigator.

"Demon!" Now that was a high-pitched, almost childish voice that she didn't recognize. The Straw Hats had apparently taken on a new crew member.

"Santoryou."

"Wait, Luffy! Santoryou isn't an insult!"

There was a pause.

"Yontoryou."

Robin could picture the long-nosed sniper sighing in frustration, and she couldn't help but smile.

"You just added one! Oi, jeeze. You know natou? That could mean like, 'you stink'."

Robin could hear angry footsteps coming near where she was hiding.

"Cry the rest of the Grand Line for all I care!" the swordsman shouted.

That was her cue. There would probably never be a better moment. So she put a smile on her face and stepped out into the sunlight.

One would have thought she was the devil judging by the way the crew reacted to her appearance. Or an angel judging by the way the blond boy in the suit was gazing at her with adoration. The long nosed one and a strange, furry creature with antlers were running around the deck screaming their heads off though it appeared the latter was simply imitating the former. The swordsman and the navigator were staring at her with suspicion and anger from being disarmed so easily but there was surprisingly no hatred or malice in their eyes.

While it would have been amusing to continue watching the chaos unfold, she got to the point and said to the captain, "Let me join your crew."

And when they asked her why they should let her join, she could have pointed out to the captain that she had saved his life twice, but she refrained. She didn't want to succeed that way. So she told them the simple truth. She had nowhere else to go and no real reason to live.

Despite her best efforts, there was a faint tone of pleading in her words, and she cursed herself for her weakness. If the captain noticed, he gave no sign and simply agreed that he had no other choice but to allow her to join.

It was a piece of cake after that. There was token resistance, but no one really wanted to go against the captain. The tension she had been holding inside dissolved to the point where she could playfully tease the sharpshooter who was adorably trying to interview her.

"Luffy! According to my investigations, I've come to the conclusion that this woman is too dangerous to be a part of our crew!"

The captain was too busy playing with the hands sprouting out from the deck to take much notice, and shortly thereafter the sniper joined him and the reindeer in rolling around in laughter.

Robin hadn't felt so playful in such a long time. Teasing people to take them off-guard and make them underestimate her was simply a tool she used to manipulate, but she had rarely gotten as much enjoyment out of it as she did now. There was just something about these pirates that made it almost impossible to stay serious. Even if her stay with them ended up being short, she'd still get plenty of amusement going along on their journey.

There was still one person holding steadfast against her inclusion, and he was glaring at his crewmates with no attempt to conceal his irritation. She knew the swordsman was disgusted with how easily she had won over the rest of his nakama, but no one could be more surprised than her. She had suspected that this would happen, but she'd known that if these pirates had really held a grudge against her then no amount of jewels or magic hands would have gained their acceptance.

That was why she decided to join the swordsman at the front of the ship. The Straw Hats were definitely one of a kind, but hopes and expectations were two different things, so she couldn't help but think that she succeeded a little too easily in her plan. She perversely drew comfort from the distrust in the swordsman's eyes. That was something she was familiar with. It was ironically the only thing that allowed her to fully relax.

After throwing the green-haired boy a smile which she knew would confuse him, she asked, "Is it always cheerful like this?"

The swordsman gave her a sardonic smile. "Ah, this is it."

If he had been hoping to unsettle her with his response, then he must have been disappointed upon seeing the peaceful look that appeared on her face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Robin hadn't been part of the crew for very long before a ship fell out of the sky and almost crushed them. That was just the beginning of the adventures she would have.

Most pirates ran away from danger. Even the ones hardy enough to take on the Grand Line rarely tried to seek it out! She found that pirates were a rather superstitious lot, but not these ones. The captain had the curiosity of a child and the lack of common sense normally associated with such. This pleased her just fine. She rarely got to be a part of a crew who was actually interested in exploring the mysterious and unknown. Though honestly and much to her amusement, most of the crew was not so much interested as resigned…

And that was how they ended up on an ocean in the sky that shouldn't exist fighting a Devil Fruit user who fancied himself a god. It was where she was able to reignite her dream of finding the Rio Poneglyph, and it was where she was able to get her first real understanding of how such a small crew had made it so far into the Grand Line.

It wasn't just because the crew contained what Long Nose-kun liked to call 'monsters' able to defeat hundreds of ordinary soldiers in combat. It wasn't just because the Straw Hats were astonishingly lucky at cheating death. Strength and luck were definitely important but were insufficient to explain how they could maintain such high spirits in the face of never-ending dangers. At sea, hopelessness was almost a big a threat as starvation, but this crew were more likely to have more problems with the latter (especially with the captain's appetite) than with the former.

Underneath all their bickering and fighting, there was a trust that no matter what trouble any one of them got into, the others would help pull them out of it. There was a bond there that she didn't understand. The Straw Hats didn't seem to have any emotional restraints whatsoever. They would laugh and yell and cry with ease.

Robin envied them that freedom. She had learned early on that tears would not get her sympathy and showing fear was only an invitation for being exploited. On most ships she'd been on, the laughter would stop as soon as she entered a room. Those pirates would glance at her suspiciously, and they were obviously concerned that she was taking notice of their weaknesses. She didn't blame them as her reputation for betrayal was well-known.

But on the Going Merry, nobody seemed concerned at all about letting down their guards in front of her. Even the swordsman, who occasionally threw glares her way, spent most of his time either sleeping or fighting with the cook. She would watch them from her lawn chair and marvel at their apparent innocence. Sometimes, Robin would read in her room instead of outside because it hurt too much to look at the Straw Hats.

Yet the Straw Hats were anything but innocent with the possible exception of their captain. The crew didn't share everything with each other even as close as they were. They rarely spoke of their pasts, but as a historian and former vice-president of Baroque Works she was adept at piecing together stories. Through listening to dozens of conversations she was able to get a good sense of her crewmates' backgrounds.

Robin had sensed a kindred spirit in the doctor when she first met him. Like her, he was quite familiar with loneliness. He hailed from Drum Island, a land renowned for its medical expertise, and he had been an outcast with no place to call his own for most of his life. His awkwardness around humans was still readily apparent. He was not used to praise and was skittish around strangers. He would often look to the captain and the long nose as a guide for how to navigate social situations. The others were quick to point out that this was an extremely bad idea. The doctor had much to learn, but he was content because he had found a home now and as he demonstrated on Skypiea, he would die to protect it.

Perhaps that was why she warmed up to him so quickly. There was something refreshing about such openness and naivety. He was surprisingly gullible for someone so intelligent. And it was partly because of that intelligence and their shared interest in books and academia that he quickly lost any fear that he ever harbored toward her.

"Robin?"

"Yes, Doctor?" Robin replied, looking up from her book.

The little reindeer nervously shuffled his feet. He asked, "I just wanted to say… I'm glad Luffy let you join."

Robin raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Thank you, but what brought this on after all this time?"

"It's just… Usopp says a man should owe up to his mistakes, and it occurred to me that I never apologized for avoiding you when you became part of the crew."

"You were right to do so," Robin replied. "You had no way of knowing if I was a danger or not to the crew."

"You're wrong!" The doctor's eyes widened at his outburst. He started playing with his hooves as he said, "I should have believed Luffy when he said you weren't a bad person. If the captain says we're nakama, then we're nakama, right?"

Robin didn't know what to say. Should she tell him that she was indeed a 'bad person' or that she still didn't quite believe in the idea of nakama? But when she looked at the earnestness in his eyes, she couldn't bring herself to say either, so she simply smiled and replied, "Thank you for believing in me."

It was the best answer. She didn't want to lie. She couldn't say that she considered herself their nakama. And she ignored the pang in her heart that wished that it could have been otherwise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Robin knew that she was considered the 'mysterious one.' She was the woman with the enigmatic smile who always seemed to know more than she let on. She would say that she enjoyed playing that role except that it really wasn't a role at all. If she seemed secretive then it was only because she had actual secrets to keep.

The truth behind Ohara's destruction and her bounty. Her constant, relentless fear that she would die alone and friendless. The nightmares that kept her from sleeping more than a few hours than a time. These were all secrets that Robin often felt the urge to spill to her crewmates.

This frightened her. With every passing day she could feel her vulnerability growing. She wanted very much to trust the Straw Hats, but she'd been down that road before and it had never ended well. It wasn't that she thought these pirates were bad people, but even good people could only go so far.

At least she didn't have to wonder if they liked her. The captain never hid his dislike from anyone. He seemed completely incapable of guile. The navigator and the doctor treated her like she was their best friend. As long as she kept her XX chromosomes, she was in no danger of losing the cook's affection. The swordsman was gruff but treated her with respect. The crew obviously liked her to some degree.

She felt guilty that she couldn't fully reciprocate their openness toward her even as she kept herself apart from them. She never personally joined in their games and warded off such suggestions by sending out her extra hands to distract and amuse the boys. This hadn't gone unnoticed. After one incident in which she politely told the captain that she couldn't join their game of tag, the swordsman remarked that she probably thought she was too good to play games with the rest of them. This naturally sparked a fight between him and the cook.

That initial observation was seemingly forgotten, and the swordsman didn't bring it up again. Yet Robin sometimes couldn't help but wonder if her behavior offended the crew. Even the navigator, who was the biggest complainer about the noisiness and mayhem that happened on the ship, would occasionally join the others in playing cards. Did the captain and the others think she disliked them?

That thought disturbed her. The last thing she wanted was for them to be uncomfortable around her. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't even noticed that she ran into someone until she heard the 'Oof' and the clatter of metallic objects

"Long Nose-kun, are you alright? I didn't mean to knock you over like that."

"No problem, no problem. I needed to talk to you anyway." The boy started picking up the objects he'd dropped. He waved off her offer of assistance.

Her curiosity piqued, Robin asked, "What did you need?"

"Nami's been bugging me to make her a new Clima-Tact. Her last one got busted up in her fight with Miss Doublefinger." A look of discomfort flickered across his face. He hastily went on, "Anyway, remember those dials I got back on Skypiea? I got some ideas on making a better, more powerful staff with them. I was hoping you could help me run some experiments."

"Why me?"

The amateur inventor shrugged. "Sanji's cooking dinner, Zoro's practicing, Chopper's taking a nap, Nami won't help me unless I pay her, and do you seriously expect me to ask _Luffy_ to help me with delicate experimentation?"

A teasing smile came to Robin's lips. "So I am your last resort then? Should I feel honored?"

The boy looked abashed. "Ah, I didn't mean it like that…"

"I would be happy to help you, Long Nose-kun."

Her job in helping test the power of the dials was quite simple. All she had to do was record the results of each experiment and occasionally help with the set up and clean up. This gave her plenty of opportunity to observe the young man in his element.

He wore a serious expression that she rarely saw on him. The 'seriousness' he adopted when he was telling his lies or pretending with all his might that he wasn't afraid didn't count. She wondered why this self-proclaimed sniper and jack-of-all trades was even on this crew.

It wasn't that she doubted his abilities or his bravery. She had seen enough of his battles to know that while he was not the strongest or most courageous of men, he was solidly reliable and would fight to the death to protect his friends. No, she wanted to know why he was a pirate at all. She knew about Kaya as a day did not go by that her name was not mentioned. Why would he leave such an obviously important and beloved figure behind and risk never seeing her again?

So she asked.

The long nose set down his tools and stared at her, obviously taken back by her question. He replied, "You know about my desire to become a brave warrior of the sea, right?"

"I do. But it seems to me that you have already achieved that goal. Even if you do not feel that way, there are less drastic ways of reaching your goal than by seeking the One Piece."

Ah, how sweet. He had blushed after she complimented him. He took a long moment to compose his thoughts then he replied, "You're right. Unlike the others, I don't have a real reason to be on Luffy's crew. I could leave at any time I wanted. I am an already excellent pirate after all. Why, Robin, before you came onboard you would not believe the dangers and the monsters I faced. Would you like to hear about the time I defeated the seven-headed hydra with nothing more than my slingshot and a rusty knive?"

"Perhaps another time," Robin replied with a smile. "But you were saying?"

"No? Your loss then." His eyes flickered toward the door as if hoping for an interruption. When one did not materialize, he sighed then said, "I have three reasons why I stay. The first two are rather obvious. Kaya gave Luffy this ship and I feel it's my responsibility to look after it. And Luffy helped save my village. The least I could do is help him out on his journey. As for the third reason…"

He looked out the porthole with a little sadness in his eyes. He continued softly, "I can't help but hope that if we're out here long enough we'll run into my father."

A sensitive topic had apparently been touched upon, so Robin gracefully drew his attention back to his experiments. The sun had begun to set when they finally finished. They then did the best they could in covering up the scorch marks and cracked walls that resulted from a little too vigorous trial and error.

"Thanks for the help, Robin."

"It was no trouble at all, Long Nose-kun."

She was on her way out the door when she was stopped by the sound of her science partner's voice.

"Um, I was wondering… since we're being open and all if I could ask you a question."

Robin found herself tensing and she had to forcibly relax her muscles. She grinned and replied, "You may ask, but I give no guarantee of an answer, Long Nose-kun."

A frown was thrown in her direction.

"That's just it. Why do you call me Long Nose?"

She had wondered when someone would comment on her apparent inability to use the crew's proper names. The navigator gave her a few curious glances from time to time, but no one else seemed to notice what she was doing.

She wasn't too sure herself of the reason. Perhaps it was simply habit from her time in a secret organization where codenames were the norm. Perhaps she did it to maintain distance between herself and the crew. Or maybe she simply didn't feel worthy of acting like she was their equal. That she couldn't bring herself to take the final step of acknowledging that she was a part of the crew and not just a temporary guest. That it terrified her that she wished that it didn't have to be temporary.

Robin opened her mouth, but she found that she didn't even know what she was going to say.

"I know it's my most obvious feature, and I don't really mind but everyone gets a job title like doctor or cook. Why am I not Sniper-san or Inventor-sama?"

Oh.

"Isn't it obvious?" Robin answered with a mental sigh of relief. "Your many duties on this ship cannot be summed up in a single description."

"That makes sense. I do an awful lot around here after all. Is there any single title that represents my importance to this crew? Wait! You can call me Captain Usopp!"

Robin tried to suppress it, but a giggle slipped past her lips.

"Ah, there it is. You should laugh more, Robin. We're pirates after all. Hey, Luffy and I are setting up a broomstick hockey tournament tomorrow. You wanna join?"

"I'll think about it," Robin replied noncommittally.

That was a lie. She already knew what her answer would be. She knew intellectually she was behaving foolishly. Playing games with the crew wasn't going to overcome twenty years of habitual secrecy. She had more self-control than that. But maybe what she was doing was just as much for their protection as it was for hers.

This way it wouldn't hurt so much when she would finally have to leave them behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The person she spent the least amount of time talking with was the swordsman.

Robin wasn't special in this regard. Other than his daily squabbles with the cook, the swordsman rarely spoke and spent most of his time sleeping or training. That wasn't to say that he was standoffish. If any member of the crew wanted to talk to him about something then he was quite open with his words. He was just the type of man for whom it was enough to simply be among people he trusted.

She envied that attitude.

Every day, she watched him clean his blades. He may not have spoke much, but the way he handled his white-hilted sword told her volumes. He took great care with all his swords but he took special care of that one. There was a story there, but she doubted that she would ever hear it.

Robin sometimes wondered why someone like the swordsman would follow the captain. The green-haired pirate seemed like the sort of man who went after his goals with an all-consuming zeal. There would be no room for distractions. Unlike the captain who didn't mind taking many twists and turns in his journey toward his singular goal, people like the swordsman never deviated from their path until they either succeeded or they died in their pursuit of their life's purpose.

It was a wonder then that the swordsman didn't seem to mind meandering around the Grand Line seemingly at random. It was true that he had become stronger from their adventures, but there were surely more efficient ways of building strength than by becoming a pirate. Especially for one who had built his reputation as a hunter of pirates.

He must have known that she watched him. She made no real attempt to hide her observation yet he never said anything. Perhaps he felt it would be hypocritical of him to protest considering how much time he spent watching her. He didn't trust her. That much was clear. Yet she knew that he would do his best to take care of her as he would for any other member of the crew. His fight with Enel had proven that much.

It was probably very aggravating for him. He had a fierce desire to protect his crewmates from her possible betrayal, but his honor and his loyalty to the captain forced him to consider her a crewmate as well and to treat her accordingly.

"Robin-chwan! I have prepared a delicious strawberry and kiwi sorbet, perfect for a sunny afternoon like this. It will help keep your lovely skin cool and relax your weary mind."

"Thank you, Cook-san."

It was amusing how easily she could imagine the cook's eyes turning into pink throbbing hearts. The way he danced and twirled around her chair made it seem like she had agreed to bear his babies and not simply thanked him for his efforts. The poor dear always tried so hard.

She had not known what to make of this man when she first met him. He had fawned on her like she was a goddess, and he did not seem bothered one bit that she had recently been part of an organization that had tried to kill him and his companions. At first, she had dismissed him as a hormone-driven fool. What he was after from her was pathetically clear, but at least he was much more gentlemanly in his intentions than most pirates she knew.

Then she had gotten to know him better, and she realized that he was not after her for her body. Well, not completely anyway. He was still a nineteen year old boy after all. But it was clear that he truly was a gentleman and a romantic. His flirtation with every woman they came across made him seem like a playboy, but he truly regarded women not as potential bedmates but as works of art to be put on a pedestal. He wanted to be loved but at the same time he did not believe that he was worthy of the love of such beautiful creatures.

Though she would never tell him this, such an attitude perplexed and discomforted Robin to a small degree. In the cook's eyes, she could do no wrong. Because of an accident of birth. It was a sort of bigotry. A benign one to be sure but bigotry nevertheless.

There was no question that he respected her. He didn't think disparagingly of her combat skills or her intellect because she was a woman. It was quite the opposite. She didn't have a problem with such an attitude. The navigator seemed to enjoy the cook's actions probably because she really did consider herself part of the superior sex. Robin didn't have a problem with that kind of attitude either. She was hardly in a position to judge others for having quirky beliefs.

No, the trouble was that she was _not _a good woman, and it disturbed her somewhat that the cook's judgment that she was one was not really based on her character as a person.

"Robin-chan? Are you alright? Are you feeling well? If you're not, I can whip up a nice chicken soup and-"

"No, I'm fine," Robin interrupted. "I didn't mean for my thoughts to drift like that." She quickly scooped up a spoonful of the sorbet. "This is delicious."

"Your words bring me great joy, mademoiselle."

"I'm curious. It must be a good deal of trouble for you to make these treats for me and Navigator-san every day. Is our gratitude really worth that much?"

"The sight of your smile is worth more than all the stars in the sky."

The gagging sound that came from the swordsman momentarily transformed the cook's sunny smile into a fierce scowl.

"And what would my smile be worth if I had left your captain to die in the deserts of Alabasta?" Robin asked, startling herself.

The cook's grin faded. "You wouldn't do that."

Robin glanced at the cook curiously. She didn't know what had possessed her to ask such a strange question, but she felt a sudden urge to press the issue. "Why do you think that?"

The cook opened his mouth to reply, but it was the swordsman's sneering voice that provided an answer. "Isn't it obvious? It's because you're a woman. And according to love cook here, that makes you a sweet, little angel."

"Oi, marimo-head! Shut up about things you know nothing about." The cook turned back to Robin with pleading eyes. "Don't listen to him. I recognize that there are evil women in the world. I just do not believe that you are one of them."

"Sure, love cook. Her gender has nothing to do with it. Whatever you say." The swordsman walked off before the cook could verbally or physically retaliate.

"Are you alright, Cook-san?" Robin asked, concerned about the frustration she could practically feel coming off the man.

The cook pulled out a cigarette and lit it. After a couple puffs, he sighed. "He's not wrong, but he's not right either. I meant what I said. I know you worked for Crocodile. I also know that in the end you did the right thing. That's good enough for me. Am I biased because you're a woman? Probably. But that doesn't make me wrong."

Without waiting for a reply, he set off for the kitchen. "Dinner will be in an hour."

Robin stared at his retreating back until it vanished behind the wooden door. The cook was a good man. She still thought that he was being naïve, but she felt warmed by his belief in her, no matter how misguided it might be.

She found herself walking to the bow of the ship where the swordsman was setting up his weights. He grunted as she came near, acknowledging that he saw her. Robin waited patiently, and as she expected the first one to break the silence was not her.

"What do you want? I'm not apologizing to that stupid love cook if that's why you're here," the swordsman said. He gave a particularly hard swing as if to emphasize his feelings on the matter.

Robin replied, "I was simply curious as to what triggered your outburst. Was it my question or his response to it?"

"The past is the past. I don't care about what you've done. I care about what you might do. Unlike _some_ people, I appreciate how dangerous you can be." The swordsman gave a glare in the direction of the kitchen. "He treats you like you're weak. I get tired of it sometimes."

Robin realized that the swordsman, in his own unique way, had just paid her a compliment. His response, however, had just inflamed her curiosity even more. She asked, "Why do you care how he treats me? You don't even like me."

She had meant to ask the last part in a joking manner, but the words came out more seriously than she intended. It wasn't like she cared what this walking mountain of muscle thought of her, right?

The swordsman honestly looked surprised at her words. "What gave you that idea? Nothing wrong with liking your enemies."

Robin was confused. "Respecting, I understand. But liking?"

"When you fight someone you get a sense of that person, and there have been quite a few swordsmen I've battled that I wouldn't have minded having a drink with afterwards." The swordsman shrugged. "They're usually not up for it though."

Robin couldn't help but smile at that. "That's quite an interesting attitude you have."

"There are some real bastards out there, but most people I fight are just guys fucking up in a fucked up world. People like Nami. Don't get me wrong, Robin. I don't trust you. But that's only because I know what kind of world you had to grow up in. Hell, if I was the captain I wouldn't trust me either."

"So I'm your enemy but not quite?" Robin asked in an amused tone.

The swordsman grinned at her. "Let's just say you're higher in my estimation than that damned love cook."

Later that evening, Robin mentally reviewed that conversation. She wasn't sure what to make of the swordsman's words. It was irrational, but she felt pleased that he thought well of her. Yet she also felt apprehensive. The swordsman had been her last real excuse. As long as he saw her as an outsider, she could tell herself that she did not really belong. Any thoughts to the contrary were just the result of a lonely and overactive imagination.

But she couldn't deny it to herself any longer. Despite all her efforts, she had fallen in love with the crew of the Going Merry. Somehow, when she wasn't looking they had snuck into her heart, and it looked like that they were there to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The captain's life was in danger.

This would normally not be a problem for the fierce and deadly captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He was a ridiculously strong boy who had beaten the likes of Crocodile and Don Krieg with his nearly indestructible rubber body and indomitable spirit.

Yet even a rubber body could bruise when a certain navigator was involved.

"LUFFY! Tell me why we almost died. Tell me that you had a good reason for taking the ship off course."

Long Nose-kun said tentatively, "Er, Nami? Maybe he could tell you if you stopped throttling him."

The captain whose face was turning purple nodded frantically in agreement. The navigator released him with a reluctant sigh.

"Well?"

The look on the captain's face said that he thought the answer was obvious. He replied, "It was a frog that could do the breaststroke! We had to chase it!"

The navigator put a hand to her face and groaned. "Why? Why did we have to chase it?"

"I wanted to eat it!"

With an inarticulate cry of rage, the navigator grabbed the younger boy by his red, short-sleeved shirt and began shaking him like a rag doll. She cried, "The ship was nearly run over by a sea train! We were almost smashed to bits!"

"Hey, I didn't know there was going to be a sea train there! I didn't even know they existed before today! Did _you _know?"

Robin winced. Trying to deal rationally with the navigator while she was in her current mood was not likely to be a successful venture.

And she was proven to be correct when the navigator stormed off leaving a mass of bruises writhing on the deck.

Robin gently nudged the vaguely human form with her foot and asked pleasantly, "Are you feeling alright, captain?"

The captain gave her a shaky thumbs-up.

Robin smiled. There was something awfully amusing about this strong-willed pirate falling so easily before the navigator's wrath. In fact, she seemed to be the only person who could keep him in line. The two of them seemed to have a rather strange relationship. Robin had noticed that however much the navigator argued with and berated the captain for his reckless plans, she would defer to his decisions once they were made without further argument. The level of respect and trust she usually showed him were completely at odds with her attitude that their captain was a complete idiot.

The navigator hated pirates. This was an undisputed fact. The incident in which all the crew members except Robin had lost their memories had shown that to be true. Yet the captain had somehow won that girl's undying loyalty even if she tended to show that loyalty in a rather painful fashion.

In the final analysis, their relationship was not that much different from their counterparts on other pirate ships. The captain would set a course and the navigator would do her best to ensure that the ship would get there. They were a team, and no number of clashes would change that.

Robin found the navigator in their quarters furiously scribbling on a sheet of paper and muttering to herself.

"That brainless moron! You'd think being on the Grand Sea would give him some sense of caution, but no-o-o-o. What does a man too stupid to fear death need with caution? He probably doesn't even know the meaning of the word!

"And why am I the only one with any common sense? I'm surrounded by idiots. Why do I always have to be the one to point out that we shouldn't be trying to sail into the sky or getting into Davy Back fights? We're all going to end up at the bottom of the sea at this rate."

"Well, we have traveled in the sky. Why not the bottom of the ocean?" Robin asked, leaning against the door to the room with crossed arms.

The navigator smiled wearily at her. "Knowing Luffy, I wouldn't be surprised at all. The guy's like a six year old. Honestly, chasing after some giant frog."

"Don't you think you're being a bit hard on the captain? There's no way he could have known about that train device," Robin said.

"I know that he couldn't have known." The redhead looked vaguely guilty for a moment. "It's just… it's his attitude that bothers me. He doesn't seem to _care_ that we could have all died for such a stupid reason. All our dreams would have been gone just like that."

"You know he cares."

"I do. I know that. He could show some remorse at least. I wish he'd think more before launching us on another harebrained adventure. I don't _like_ being the bad guy, but if I don't pound some sense into his head, he'll never learn anything." She groaned. "Why is our captain such an idiot?"

Robin had often heard similar laments from the cook, the swordsman, and the rest of the crew. Even the doctor, the captain's biggest fan, sometimes found the rubber boy's antics annoying. She was by no means immune from this sentiment. As a woman who valued rationality and logical thinking, she had her moments of frustration with the captain's often incomprehensible actions.

But those moments usually passed very quickly. That was because Robin had something the navigator lacked, which was experience. She was used to being on ships where the captains took great pleasure in beating and terrorizing their crews. Men shot dead for not delivering the rum quickly enough. Women 'broken in' before they would be allowed to join the crew. Robin was able to avoid such fates because of her powers and her reputation as a woman not to be messed with.

She didn't imagine that the navigator had not seen similar incidents. The long nose had let it slip that the girl had been forced to work for a vicious fishman since she was a child, and that she was skilled at manipulating her way onto pirate ships in order to rob them later. But despite their similar life experiences dealing with pirates, Robin had, by virtue of her age, seen _more_ barbaric behavior.

Deep in her cynical soul, the navigator wanted to believe that individuals of good character like Monkey D. Luffy were more common than she had been led to believe, and that was why she sometimes took him for granted.

Robin knew better.

"I have known many brainless captains on the sea," Robin said. "But I have known very few who had a heart large enough to make up for that deficiency."

An amazing change came over the navigator. Where only moments before the girl had stress lines etched into her forehead, she now wore a gentle expression. It was a smile that somehow managed to convey amusement, chagrin, and a sense of wonder. She said fondly, "Yeah, he's an idiot but if he wasn't one then I probably wouldn't be here now. Luffy's a glutton, a moron, and the most aggravating person I know, but I owe him… everything."

And in those words Robin had the answer to why the crew hadn't long ago mutinied and thrown the captain overboard.

"You can always make me feel better, Robin. I'd go crazy if I was the only woman onboard."

"I was under the impression that you managed rather well up until the princess joined your crew."

The navigator laughed. "It was like living in a madhouse. Don't get me wrong, I love the guys, but I just can't talk to them about some stuff. Mister Tough Guy Swordsman's solution to anything is to slice it to pieces. Luffy wouldn't understand and besides, he's the person I'm complaining about half the time! Chopper doesn't know that much about human interaction. Sanji's sweet, but he can be smothering and _too_ emotional. It's nice having another woman to divide his attention with."

"Uh, you're welcome?"

The navigator smiled. "Would you believe that Usopp was the closest thing I had to a girl friend before Vivi came onboard?"

Robin thought about that and couldn't help laughing at that image that came to mind of the boy in hair curlers and a nightie. She then asked, "And you feel that you can talk to me?"

"Definitely. At first, you were kinda scary and I resented you a little because I missed Vivi. I know you weren't trying to replace her or anything… Yeah, it was stupid, but that's how I felt at the time."

"What changed your mind?" Robin asked, genuinely curious. It was obvious that she was on much friendlier terms with the other girl than when they first met, but she had always wondered what had won the younger girl over.

"You're so… poised. It doesn't seem like anything bothers you. You always seem to know what to do. Even when you were working with Crocodile, I respected how tough you were. You remind me of Luffy but obviously with more intelligence and self-control. You never give up no matter how bad things get. You're everything I want to be someday."

The navigator drifted off into silence, but it was not a natural silence but a pensive one that caused Robin to prompt, "But?"

The other girl squirmed around in her chair. She said hesitantly, "You're always smiling, but you're not always happy. I'm always talking to you about my problems, but you never tell me about yours. I wish…"

Robin sensed an open invitation floating around in the air, and she wished that she could take it. She had admitted to herself that she loved the Straw Hats, but some habits were too hard to break. She would not burden others with her problems. So she said nothing.

The moment passed, and the navigator turned back to her mapmaking, muttering, "Never mind. It's none of my business."

Robin lingered by the doorway for a minute longer then turned and headed back to the deck. Her mind was in turmoil. The navigator was extraordinarily perceptive, but that was no surprise. The girl reminded her of herself in many ways. She knew what it was like to have to hide one's true self and to constantly be on guard against betrayal while she was planning to commit a betrayal herself.

But the navigator didn't have the world after her. She had found happiness in a rowdy and extremely strange group of pirates. She didn't have to hide who she was anymore. She no longer had to constantly look over her shoulder, fearing who and what lied over the horizon.

Robin sometimes envied the younger girl's freedom, but she did not resent it. She wanted to preserve it. She wanted her to finish making her map of the world. She wanted the captain to become the Pirate King, for the cook to achieve his quest for a mythical sea, for the swordsman to reach the peak of his profession, for the doctor to become a great healer, and for the brave warrior of the sea to go home to his Kaya laden with stories that would not be lies.

She wanted her friends to be happy. She wondered what Saulo would have thought about that.

* * *

_A few weeks later…_

Robin watched with amusement as the doctor ran toward the bookstore, babbling with unrestrained glee. She slowly followed after him so that she could take in the glorious sights around her.

Water 7 was truly an architectural wonder. Robin made a mental note to track down a historian and ask about the history of the city. There probably wouldn't be any Poneglyph connection, but discussing history for its own sake was still one of her passions in life.

She took in a deep breath of fresh air and slowly released it, feeling the tension drain from her body as she did so. She resumed her motion already thinking of ways to tease the doctor for leaving her behind. Robin barely noticed the man in the strange cloak and mask that walked past her heading in the opposite direction.

"C-P-9."

The shock reverberated through her body causing her body to freeze up almost instantly. Robin couldn't breathe or even think. In just three syllables her new life had ended.

Even though she knew that it was inevitable, even though she knew that _they_ would catch up with her some day, Robin could not comprehend what was happening to her. The man, no, the agent was speaking and she was nodding, but she would not have been able to repeat what he said if her life depended on it. It was taking all her energy simply not to break down in despair. But she wasn't surprised at this turn of events. She had always known that happiness was not possible for someone like her.

Her first impulse was to run. She was an expert at escaping. She had done it before, and she could do it again. So why did she hesitate?

Because she knew CP9's first move would be to capture the Straw Hats and interrogate them for any information they might have about where she would go. Never mind that she would have never confided such things to her crewmates. Luffy and the others were strong, but even they couldn't stand up to the might of the World Government.

The choice before her was very simple. She could allow her friends to die in her stead, or she could stop running and submit to her fate. Her decision was obvious, but what she hadn't expected was how easy her choice would be. Sacrificing herself for those six? In a heartbeat.

As she followed the agent down an alley, Robin felt no fear. She felt a peace that she hadn't felt in years. She felt relief at not having to run any longer and a sense of satisfaction that she would finally accomplish something of worth in her life. If someone was to ask her why she was willing to allow herself to die for a group of people she barely knew, she would have replied that there was one thing she did know. Any one of that group would have done the same for her.

Because they were nakama.

THE END

Author's Note: I found Robin to be one of the most intriguing characters of One Piece and I wanted to write a short character piece from her point of view. Somehow it grew from there to encompass the other Straw Hats. I have decided to end here because I'd reached the point in Robin's character development that I wanted to reach, and because I would just be rehashing the Water 7 and Enies Lobby arcs if I continued. I could not hope to improve on those emotionally moving parts of the One Piece series. This was a joy to write. I hope you enjoyed the ride.


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